I am currently under the influence
I am a creative type who became discouraged after years of being blissfully optimistic. At 24, I chose to go back to college as my fear of moving up in retail sales and living a lonely unsuccessful life began to rear its ugly head.
College taught me that those who are willing to stick it out through the dreary fundamentals while keeping a smile on their face can make it to the top. I became a top student, sought after by the recruiting staff and talked about by my instructors.
I was one of the few students to take advantage of an internship early on. My internship turned into a full time position and my career began.
When I finally graduated at 27, I made myself and my family proud. After years of following an unconventional path; I had followed the norms of society and finally fit in with my peers. The same year I asked my best friend to marry me and my future was bright.
Four years later and I am a shell of my formerly creative optimistic self.
I will say; I am happier than ever thanks to my lovely Wife. She is my constant!
The thing is, the longer I work 9-5 making others wealthy, the more drained I’ve become. Day by day, and year by year, the fear once again has begun to settle in. The fear that I’ll spend my whole life working for others, never gaining financial independence. The gripping thought that I will never achieve freedom of time, leaving me unable to spend quality time with my family and loved ones. A nagging fear that my passions will always be hobbies, left on the sideline to certification studies and late night worries while working for companies who have the power to hire and fire without notice. I fear I will never be able to give back to my parents who so lovingly gave me 150% despite their own hardships. Last but not least, the fear that my own anxieties will bring me an early demise on an otherwise seemingly normal Monday morning.
I have been under the influence of how things are supposed to be for so long that I have forgotten how to think outside of the box. My goal is to gain optimism once again towards achieving my dreams.
Through this blog, my focus is to teach myself to take action towards the things that are important to me. Hopefully as I learn, I will be able to share my knowledge with others. Together we can work towards taking charge of our own circumstances and directing our lives to the paths we choose; breaking free of the influences we are under.
As my Father has always told me, “Reach for the heavens and at the very least you will make it to the stars”.